Table Manners through a Grateful Heart

One of the most popular areas of teaching etiquette is table manners. We all want to sit and eat with others who are clean, respectful, and enjoyable to be around. Poor table manners can turn a lovely meal into a disaster. Kids have a hard time understanding why they shouldn't spit out food they don't like or yell at the table. Kids have a tendency to do as they please. So it is a parent's job to instruct them and teach them the table manner rules.

Gratitude gives value to rules of etiquette. A thankful heart toward meals provided and the person who prepared the meal will be the foundation for table manners. Following a simple set of rules is only half the story. Teaching character and etiquette go hand in hand. A person who is grateful is naturally more respectful of those around her. Etiquette is graciousness in action.

The primary goal is to teach a child to be thankful to the Lord for providing the meal on her plate. However, a child may need more concrete steps before making that connection. Prayers over food should never become hollow or simply the ritual before diving in to feed your hunger. Here are possible solutions to encourage your child to become more thankful for his full plate of food.

  • Since children are always asking for food then have them pay for it. Take them grocery shopping and give them a budget for spending money on snacks and lunches for the week. Do not give them more money or make deals to get extra snacks or even extra apples. Allow them the chance to work on a budget and make decisions.
  • Use your next geography lesson to learn about a missionary your church supports. If possible have your child contact the missionary or the missionary's children to discuss the conditions where they live. Allow your child to see that in other countries children do not just hop over to McDonald's or the grocery store.
  • Sponsor a Child is another way to give your child a concrete example of how desperate another child is for food and support. I am not associated with Sponsor a Child or an organization such as this so please check it thoroughly before deciding to support. Get your child involved in picking the child. Make this child part of your daily prayers and prayers before meal time. Your child will soon see how blessed she is for having a full plate.
  • Christmas is coming and there will be requests to adopt a family, get involved with Samaritan's Purse, or work an evening in a soup kitchen. Whenever my family gets involved in something like this during Christmas I find my children focus much less on what they want and more on the needs of others.
The next step and one to be worked on in conjunction with teaching gratitude are the practical applications or house rules for the dinner table. Table manners are not taught a few minutes before entering a restaurant or before going to the relatives for Christmas dinner. Table manners are taught purposefully at every dinner in the home. The family dinner table is practicing ground for little ladies and gentleman.



Table Manners to Instill

  • Sit while you are at the table. Do not stand on your chair, fidget, crawl around, or keep getting up and down.
  • Chew with your mouth closed.
  • Napkins stay in our laps.
  • Always say, "please pass the...", when you want something on the table. Never reach over anyone to grab something.
  • Always sit and wait until everyone is seated to begin eating.
  • Thank the cook for the hard work that went into the meal.
  • Do not share your opinion on the food if you dislike it. Quietly eat around the food you do not like without making any noises or funny faces.
  • Do not take large bites. Take small bite and chew and swallow before taking a drink.
  • When you are done eating sit and wait. Ask to be excused from the table if you must get up.
  • Always help clean up after the meal.

There are a lot of rules to remember. Pick out one or two to enforce a week. Your goal is to make these rules a habit. Do not overwhelm the child with placing all the rules on him at one time. He may not remember half of them if you do. The point is not to have to remember any of them but to do them automatically after quite a bit of practice.


Etiquette and Character Series


Join me for this series for advice and strategies to teaching classy character and elegant etiquette. This is part of the iHomeschool Network Hopscotch which is filled with amazing posts by amazing bloggers. Make sure you check out the page to learn more about the Pin to WinGiveaway!
Baking with Your Kids | Tiffany at Sweet Phenomena
Developing Fine Motor Skills | Sara at Happy Brown House

Discovering Your God Given Purpose | Alisha at Flourish

Exploring Germany | Carlie at So You Call Yourself a Homeschooler?
Family Friendly Fall | Sarah at Sidetracked Sarah
Homemade Holidays | Tabitha at Meet Penny
Homeschooling Gifted Kids | Colleen at Raising Lifelong Learners
Homeschooling Through the Holidays | Tiany at Social Savvy Mom
Homeschooling Your Dyslexic Child | Marianne at Abundant Life
How to Create the Life You Want | Jenny at Planner Perfect
Hymn Study for Homeschoolers | Judy at Contented at Home
Living Math…Matters | Cindy at Our Journey Westward
Newspaper Activities for Kids | Kathy at Cornerstone Confessions
Nurturing Young Readers | Gabby at Word of Childhood
Parenting Your Hurting Child | Kim at Not Consumed
Potluck Meals | Laurie at Our Abundant Blessings
Pouring God’s Word Into Your Kids | Ticia at Adventures in Mommydom
Prepare for Christmas NOW | Donna at Hey Donna
Raising Proverbs 31 Women | Meg at Homeschoolin’ Mama
Reading Aloud | Mary at Homegrown Learners
Teaching Reading | Amber at Classic Housewife
Teaching Spelling Through Word Study | Becky at This Reading Mama
The Art of Strewing | Aadel at Temporary Tents
Using Ordinary Notebook Paper | Heather at Blog She Wrote
Using the Bible as Your Main Text in Homeschool | Karen at Simply Living for Him
Family Time Traditions | Karin at Trophy Mom Diaries

Growing Gracefully | Richele at Under the Golden Apple Tree

Disney Schooling | Susann at Momma Hopper



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Richele McFarlin, author of Under the Golden Apple Tree, and founder of Moms of Dyslexics, enjoys a good cup of coffee as she demonstrates her ability to wrestle HTML to the ground and write from the heart.

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