Do they have the same father? Are they half siblings? What's going on?
She looks like yours truly. In fact, she looks so much like me, save her forehead, that I think only my DNA was used for this child.
She looks like a mix of her brother and her oldest sister. For the most part she looks like herself...maybe the hospital gave me the wrong child. If so, I'm keeping this one. That is unless the other one is quiet, obedient, and does not feel the need to huff puff and scream at the word no.
These girls are 100% full blooded sisters. Does that surprise you? If it doesn't, then you are among the minority. They are quite the opposite in looks and attitude. I have been asked numerous times when I am out with just the little ones if they are both mine. Do you get asked that? Are you out with your kids and someone just happens to wonder if your kids are related and then have the nerve to ask?
Here's another test:
Other than sheer perfection in every way...as she would tell you about herself...she is the picture of her father with all my coloring. Quite a beauty queen, if I do say so myself. Which I am not saying so myself since you all agree...right? RIGHT?
Meet Northern Spy. Dark Brown, course...wavy to super heavy hair..maybe it would be curly but it's never long enough to really know. Tan skin and medium dark eyes. He is also super cute, huh? HUH...can't hear you?!
He looks more like my side of the family. Actually there isn't a stitch of him that looks like my husband's side, in my opinion.
When Geneva and Northern Spy were little, I would be asked by strangers, "do they both have the same father?" Have you been asked that? What gives someone the right to ask such a question AND in front of my children no less? I had people think that Geneva is my husband's stepdaughter. I had one person think that Northern Spy was my stepson.
Well, just so you all know, all four kids are 100% blood siblings.
I don't get the as many questions when I have all four out together. I am not sure why.
Am I offended by the questions, you ask? Not always. I am fully aware that Pink Lady and Honeycrisp could not look more different. I am also aware that Geneva and Northern Spy do not look quite like siblings. However, they look more alike and they look more like Pink Lady than anyone looks like Honeycrisp.
I find it hysterical that people feel the freedom to ask such personal questions. How would you feel if someone asked you, in front of your children, if they all had the same dad? How would you feel if someone stood next to you and asked snidely, "Is that her father?" Oh and the best one....several years ago before Pink and Honey, my husband and I were taking a walk with the kids. My husband was up ahead with my son while I was trailing behind with my daughter. An elderly white couple in a car, happened to be driving around. A few minutes later, my daughter ran ahead up to her dad. That same couple, driving by, slowed down and got my attention to inform me that my daughter was just up ahead. I look ahead...she was walking holding my husband's hand. You tell me what they were thinking...I have my own theories.
For the most part, I it doesn't bother me at all. We have been blessed to receive more positive comments than negative. However, it does make me wonder about people and the effect this will all have on my children. It's not pleasant when a white person makes a racist comment or joke in front of me and my kids, unaware my husband is black and that my children are 1/2 black. How do you think it makes my children feel? Did this person realize they just cut down my childrens' father and 1/2 of my childrens' culture? Sure, I can embarrass this person and train my kids that this is only ignorance. Yet, damage is done. I am not fond of ignorant people making my children feel they or their father is unworthy. I cannot say I am thrilled that someone questions where my kids came from or what my past involves. How would that person feel if I asked if her boobs were real or if she dyed her hair? What if I asked her if her children were all from the same father?
I knew having bi-racial kids would cause some raised eyebrows and odd questions. I'm not someone who cares what the world thinks anyway. I was not making a statement by marrying outside of my race. I married the man I did out of love not to change the world. I completely understand that it's unusual to see siblings who look so different . What I question is the freedom someone expresses by asking questions of my childrens' origins. I would never think to ask someone if their children all had the same father. When I married my husband, I was not fully aware of the effect it would have on my kids. Thankfully, these incidents are few and far between and my family is well received most of the time. Sadly, now that I have all the good comebacks and the ability to just laugh in the face of it...it doesn't really happen. The last time, I was asked, I had the two little girls with me and it was by a sweet elderly lady who complimented the kids. She then asked if both were mine. I don't mind the question I mind the condition of the heart that asks.
So, the next time you see a family that challenges what you learned in high school biology, just smile and nod. Or smother them with compliments and then ask your question...yes flattery forgives so much! :) (do I have to disclose that was tongue in cheek.
Labels: My Apples