"You inspire me."
"How do you do it all?"
"I know you are a much better homeschooler than me."
"Help me, I need your advice. You do this so much better than me."
"If only I could be a perfect homeschooler like you...you always have it together."
Yes, at one point or another these statements have been said to me. Me! I always wonder what the women behind those statements see when they look at me. I must remember to add "take mirror in for a refund" on my to-do list.
In some strange turn of events, I became a role model for other homeschooling moms. When they look at me they see perfectly behaved children, a well scheduled day, impeccable lesson plans, and a house swept clean. Throw in some rainbows, unicorns, and cheesecake that causes weight loss, and you entered my perfect fantasy.
Through the years, some things I got right and many things I got wrong.
Enter my home on any given day and you will see laundry baskets filled with clothes that have forgotten if they are clean or dirty. The kitchen boasts of hearty family meals evidenced by the dirty dishes still left for the morning elves. Sit down with a cup of coffee and allow my living room to recount children fighting or watching too much TV on stressful days. Bring a tissue and help my dining room table wipe off where the tears fell during a difficult reading lesson. Walk over to my school area and see lesson plan books half filled and curriculum abandoned because it was not a good fit. Open my closet doors you will won't even find a jean jumper but you will find clothes that wonder if they will ever be traded for sweats or PJs in the morning. If my walls could talk....surely my perceived perfection would be seen for what it is...a mere perception.
You see, my friend, the only thing that separates us is your perception and my experience. Experience is an excellent teacher but great lessons come through great pain. Yes, I have talents, abilities, and enough life lessons to get a few things right. So do you.
Left in the dark, under piles of wishes, my own talents failed to grow. I learned that wishing for abilities I valued in others prevented me from growth. While, we can learn from each other, we are unique. We have unique families and circumstances that God gave us charge over. So, step aside Miss Susie Homemaker and Miss Super Homeschooler, I live to please God and raise those precious blessings in His stead until they are grown. It's okay to have a different schedule. It's okay that a curriculum didn't work for you. It's okay if you forgot to assign
To Kill a Mockingbird to your high schooler. It's okay if your child is struggling to read. What isn't okay is wasting time comparing yourself to a situation that is not your own and that you honestly know little about. In wisdom, seek council from other moms. Eat from the meat of that advice but don't forget to spit out the bones.
Cultivate your own talents rather than stumble around playing dress up in another woman's shoes.
Now, don't feel bad for looking up to other women or dismiss what I have said because you see your flaws. God puts others in our lives to teach us. Simply,
do not demean your divine placement as mother of your children by trying to be someone else. There is wisdom in council if you are teachable and will allow God to work through you. Just don't forget to retain you because, friend, there is
beauty in your brokenness.
